Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

Bar Mitzvah

A Bar Mitzvah is an Aramaic term referring to a paternalistic Jewish religious ceremony dating back to ancient times. The purpose of the ceremony was not known until recently, when it was discovered Bar Mitzvahs were a way to exclude others in the community by pretending you knew something they didn't. Under the guise of "becoming a man," the 13-year-old Bar Mitzvah boy -- aka BM Boy -- would see how long he could make up gibberish words. This is because the only source of entertainment is watching the BM Boy blush while his voice cracks.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Face of Jesus discovered on seabed

• UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

• UnNews:Aliens demand apology from Church

• UnNews:Cardinals beat Tigers in 5 games to win World Series

• UnNews:Conservapedia demands proof for the existence of science

• UnNews:Heavens rejoice as Dow surpasses 14,000

• UnNews:In space, no one can hear the call to prayerl

• UnNews:Millionaire ordered to demolish giant volcano moon base after 'secretly' building laser doomsday weapon

• UnNews:Seals of the Apocalypse discovered

• UnNews:Third Coming of Jesus Christ Prophesised!

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Quote of the Week

“To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and there'!”

~ Sarah Michelle Gellar on Baphomet.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Abu Hamza - Bracketology - Cult of Apple - Dashboard Confessional - Evil Jesus - Freedom of Expression - Guy Fawkes - Homosexuology - Is the bear a Catholic? - Judyism - Karma - Linguistic Creationism - Mazda - Occult - Purgatory - Quakerism - Rambo - Stem cell - The Holy Goh - Unintelligent Design - Voidism - Walpurga (saint) - XBible 360 - Yiddish -

Zombie Christianity

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Adam - Belief - Courtnology - Discordianism - Existence - Fitna - Ganesha - Hedwig and the angry inch - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - Jesús - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Moloch - Nun - Original sin - Protestantism - Quakers - Rapist - Smart - Trinity - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - Whitism -

Zucchini