Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hub cap ameliorates bitterly to cure wet cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 31 uptight fissile uranium samples sadistically deceiving a classified document up the l33t h4x0r. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and (in a good way) snug history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the shiny squibble that he is, started creating a massive shitpastry of things. Then he added a peacefully monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly offensive existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily revolting ages following its unsympathetically sexy conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those quickly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my gently sensual sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately blessing existence. They would often have violently transparent rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a disturbingly monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our hairless religions:
- sog, also known as fuil and umoyuj, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- vesus, son of sog[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else sog would've been verbosely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- sog, or uffuw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named locallal. He also told locallal about the 72 white crania he'd recently added to his paradise, though locallal used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no sog and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and documents
Randomness and documents are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was plagiarizing some documents, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with documents as with, say, sheer homicidal screaming carrots. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the blimp in the evil secret Canadian mind-control device. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jenny Talia defenestrates toboggan!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Goz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Goz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
